As Useful As Tits On A Bull
Classic Aussie saying for when something is absolutely bloody useless. We've all got that mate, that tool, or that thing in the shed that fits this description perfectly. Now you can wear it as a shirt and let everyone know you're familiar with the concept of complete and utter pointlessness.
Made for blokes who appreciate a good turn of phrase and aren't afraid to wear it. Perfect for tradies, dads, and anyone who's ever had to explain to someone why their "brilliant idea" is about as useful as tits on a bull.
Printed on quality 180GSM combed cotton that actually serves a purpose, unlike the saying suggests. Regular fit with crew neck, side-seamed construction, and reinforced stitching at all the points that matter. The fabric's preshrunk so you don't end up with a belly shirt after one wash, and the double-needle hems mean it'll last longer than whatever useless thing you're currently complaining about.
We print these to order in our Wollongong workshop.
Check the size guide before ordering – our 4XL and 5XL run quite large.
Please note that sizes 4/5XL are generous so please ensure you check the sizes below
Australia: Free shipping on orders over $100. Orders are typically dispatched within 1-2 business days, with same-day dispatch often available for orders placed before 12pm (Mon-Fri). Standard delivery takes 2-5 business days, Express 1-3 business days (rates calculated at checkout).
International: We ship to New Zealand, USA, Canada, UK, Ireland, and Asia with both Standard and Express options. Delivery times range from 2-12 business days depending on location and service selected. All rates calculated at checkout.
Delivery timeframes are estimates and not guaranteed. We can't be held responsible for delays due to circumstances beyond our control.
Started by Two Blokes Who Couldn't Find Decent Gear
Bad Dad Clothing was started by Brian and Ricky, a father-son duo from Wollongong who got sick of trying to find quality clothes in bigger sizes that didn't cost a fortune or look like rubbish. The reality is, if you're not a size medium and you want something with a decent design, you're either paying through the nose or settling for boring basics. We're not models. We're not Instagram influencers. We're just two regular Aussie blokes who reckon everyone deserves clothing that makes them laugh and actually fits properly. Our shirts are worn by real dads - the ones at footy games, fish and chip shops, and backyard BBQs. If you're looking for six-pack abs and perfect lighting, we're not your brand. But if you want quality Australian slang apparel in sizes that actually fit real blokes? Welcome to the flock.
Made by Us, For Blokes Like Us
Every single shirt that leaves our Wollongong workshop is printed by us using Direct-to-Garment (DTG) printing. Not some faceless factory overseas. Not some dropshipping warehouse just us right here in the Gong. We design the graphics, we source the blanks, we print every shirt ourselves, and we pack every order. Each shirt is printed to order - no warehouses full of stock, no waste, just what you need when you need it. We're not trying to be the biggest clothing brand in Australia. We're happy being the brand that makes you smile when you put the shirt on, and makes your mates laugh when they see it at the pub. Life's too short to take seriously. Now go buy a shirt and tell your mates about us.